We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
