Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
