I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
