He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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