I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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