well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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