dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize