I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he told me I talked like a deaf person
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
