My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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