just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
why is half of my head shaved?
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