the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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