I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
