Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
