You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
