so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
