before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
