This dress was meant to end up on your floor
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
50% drunk capacity currently
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
