To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
