Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
