Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
