how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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