I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
