WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
