I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
