You smell like stripper and shame
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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