Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize