Porn is love you can see.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
