I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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