Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
