Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
