i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
