so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
