I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
