I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I will die if light touches me.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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