Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
