That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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