Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
