i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize