Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
