His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I would fuck him just for his dog
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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