never play flip cup with pint glasses
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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