Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
