google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
