Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I have aggressive nipples.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Drunk is a universal language darling
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