so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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