I wish my penis had an off switch
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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