I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Did I show you my penis last night?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
