i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
