sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
