this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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