I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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