I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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