you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
