So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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