So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
