So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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