I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
