Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
