Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
