best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
