hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
