I need help removing her.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
too bad you live with your parents still
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
