To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
